Death and Dying
"Just as when the waves lash at the shore, the rocks suffer no damage but are sculpted and eroded into beautiful shapes, so our characters can be molded and our rough edges worn smooth by changes. Through weathering changes we can learn how to develop a gentle but unshakable composure. Our confidence in ourselves grows, and becomes so much greater that goodness and compassion begin naturally to radiate from us and bring joy to others. That goodness is what survives death, a fundamental goodness that is in every one of us. The whole of our life is a teaching of how to uncover that strong goodness, and a training towards realizing it."
The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying
"To practice death is to practice freedom. A man who has learned how to die has unlearned how to be a slave.”
Michel de Montaigne
"Pay attention to the world around you, to the leaves and the flowers, to the birds and the rain. If you can stop and look deeply, you will recognize your beloved manifesting again and again in many forms."
Thich Nhat Hahn
Religions evolved, in part, to address questions about our existence and the inevitability of our physical dissolution/ "death." "Death" can be seen as just another idea, a mental construct full of speculation (and anxiety, fear, etc.). We have all been exposed to opinions about what may happen after death, and there are near death experiences and shared death experiences that many of us have heard or read about. Many of these accounts are correlated with specific beliefs and culture associated with the person prior to death, close family and friends, and/or surroundings prior to death, but some reports are similar across cultures. Such accounts may be dream-like visions while brains are still functioning during death and/or during revival. Or, they may have tapped into a source of our being, our "essence," "oneness" with the universe, the animating force of our bodies, "god," etc.
People have reported the following with near death experiences (these have also been reported in the absence of near death experiences, so called near death like experiences, and shared death experiences): feeling very comfortable and free of pain, a sensation of leaving the body (sometimes being able to see the physical body while floating above it), the mind functioning more clearly and more rapidly than usual, a sensation of being drawn into a tunnel or darkness, a brilliant light (sometimes at the end of a tunnel), a sense of overwhelming peace, well-being, or absolute, unconditional love, a sense of having access to unlimited knowledge, a “life review” or recall of important events in the past, a preview of future events yet to come, complex, beautiful music, space/time/geometric anomalies, and encounters with deceased loved ones or with other beings that may be identified as religious figures.
If we look at "time" as a collection of individual minute moments, we can potentially see that in every moment we are "born," we "die," and we are "reborn." We are not the same person we were in the past, physically or mentally, and we are constantly changing (including through the death of our bodies). The people we were yesterday, or even just a minute ago, are already "dead." We are constantly "dying" and being "reborn." And, at any given moment, it is as if almost everyone and everything were already "dead"- it is only their physical presence or a thought which brings them to "life" for us in any given moment. In reality, every new moment/ rebirth is a "miracle" if we choose to see it that way. We don't know with 100% certainty what the next few moments in our life will bring nor do we know for certain what the moments during and after the physical dissolution of our bodies/death will bring - we can look at those moments similarly, without worry - after all, "who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?"
There is a saying, "if we die while we are alive, we do not die when we die." At the heart of this is shedding of identification with and an attachment to a sense of self or objects or feelings associated with the idea of "self"- anything related to "me, mine, I," etc. (recall the saying, "Nothing whatsoever should be clung to as ‘I’ or ‘mine'") and understanding that our conditioned "separateness" is illusory. This is typically more of an Eastern view, the shedding of the "self" and the understanding that we are one with a greater "Self," but perhaps it is the real meaning behind the Christian idea of "rebirth" and "conquering" death.
A wave analogy may be useful. Imagine you are a wave. Now, you are given a name by other waves. You move along, look around and see other waves, different sizes and shapes, different names, and think they are different because you live in a world of illusory separateness. Eventually, see the waves ahead crash on the beach and watch them disappear and think "they are dying." But they are not really dying, they are just returning to a bigger reality. When we understand this deeply, especially in the context of impermanence, signlessness, and non-self, "death hath no power."
Precepts in Buddhism include harmlessness and compassion, towards oneself and others. For completeness around the topic of death and dying, I am providing a link for a Buddhist perspective on suicide (click here) (anyone with suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming others should seek help from a mental health professional).
"Working with death through our awareness of momentary arisings and dissolvings is a profound practice. It shows us that the life–death boundary is an ongoing and quite ordinary experience, and that this unsettling meeting point colors all that we do. If we can become more grounded at this level, we can become more open to what death has to teach us altogether."
Practicing Mindfulness, An Introduction to Meditation, The Great Courses, Mark W. Muesse, Lesson 23, is a good talk on death.
With that said, the following are some ideas about death and dying in some sects of Buddhism ("reincarnation" is not covered here as there are differing views about this).
Maranasati Meditation/ Mindfulness of Death
Three Death Bardos (gaps, transitions)
Eight Dissolutions (5 physical/ form, 3 mental/mind)
Contemplations, meditations, and practices for preparing oneself for death
At the onset of and during death
Maranasati Meditation/ Mindfulness of Death
Maranasati meditation ranges from contemplation of the possibility for death at any moment to deeper contemplations, possibly including the eventual breakdown of the body. The objective of mindfulness of death is to deepen appreciation of our mortality and to reduce death anxiety and enhance our moment to moment living.
The Nine Contemplations on Death
Three Death Bardos (gaps, transitions)
In Buddhism, the three bardos are (general pattern) 1) the painful bardo of dying (surface structures), 2) the luminous bardo of dharmata (into the essence of the mind), and 3) the karmic bardo of becoming (out of the essence of the mind).
"Everything we experience in the Bardos is a reflection of our own mental machinations."
"If you die before you die (meditation, transcending illusory sense of "self") then when you die you will not die."
1) Painful bardo- outer dissolution, death of body, pain of not letting go, releasing grip transforms painful bardo into simply the bardo of dying, nothingness
2) Luminous bardo of dharmata- nature of mind laid bare, formless awareness, revealed to all but not experienced the same, may be a flash and completely missed if no prior experience of "emptiness"
3) Bardo of becoming- power of thought and habit becomes the overwhelming issue in this bardo- thought becomes reality as if in a dream, but unable to wake up, here is where mediatation and controlling the "wind" of thoughts comes into play:
"The basic preparation for this bardo consists of cultivating now, while you are still alive, the ability to rest your mind at will and, within that state of a tranquil mind the ability to make choices mindfully. This needs to be cultivated during one's life and if it is cultivated, it will be of great benefit during the bardo of becoming."
Tips:
Perceive everything as sacred and realize it's all in the mind
Calm and stabilize your mind- remember any form of spiritual support- teacher, divine presence, or positive experience
Don't be angry or afraid, see everything as illusory, like a dream
Let go, cling to nothing- keep your mind open, positive, stable, peaceful- relate to everything with equanimity
Eight Dissolutions (5 physical/ form, 3 mental/mind)
1) First dissolution: dissolution of earth/ form; emaciation, weakness, fatigue, clouded vision; internal manifestation described as mirages of the mind; these mirages evolve into other inner visions while passing through the next stages
2) Second dissolution: dissolution of water/ fluids; bodily fluids decrease, dryness; internal manifestation is a vision of smoke
3) Third dissolution: dissolution of fire; heat is lost; inability to digest, forgetfulness names, apathy, loss of smell, short inhalation and long exhalation; internal manifestation is a vision of sparks within the smoke seen in second dissolution
4) Fourth dissolution: dissolution of wind; mind loses its ability to remain upon its object; inability to perform physical actions and unawareness or unconcern of external events; no taste, no recognition of texture; internal manifestations: loss of ability to perform physical actions or to be aware of external activities, addition of sputtering candle flame or lamp to the mirage
5) Fifth dissolution: first subtle stage, gross forms of consciousness have ceased and subtle forms are revealed, gross conceptuality is left behind; complete cessation of movement, breath, heartbeat and memory; externally appearance of death; the internal appearance is of a radiant white sky/ white awareness
6) Sixth dissolution: the white appearance turns red
7) Seventh dissolution: red moves toward the heart center, merges with white, then one experiences a vision of a radiant black sky, complete blackness, all thought stops; appearance of black is considered near-attainment of enlightenment
8) Eighth dissolution: the “clear light of death” manifests, a clear, luminous, vacuum-like, empty sky – a completely clear, open, radiant vacuity- for those who have trained in coming to an understanding of emptiness, it is at this moment that one uses this understanding, seeing this open vacuity not as empty space, but as the emptiness of the object of negation; it is at this time that one can gain a deep realization of emptiness and comprehend the true nature of reality; in the clear light experience, there is no sensation of color; one is experiencing a very subtle object with an extremely subtle mind; unless there is some disturbance to the corpse, like cremation, one can abide in that clear light state for two or three days or longer; even if one knew nothing about emptiness, it is possible to abide in this state for some time
Contemplations, meditations, and potential practices for preparing oneself for death
- Rise above the illusion of self, meditate on formless awareness, practice letting go here and now, practice phowa (see below)
- Contemplate ~100 billion people have already died and that 150,000-250,000 people die every day- people just like you, your family, your friends, etc. - add to that the countless other sentient beings that are continually born and die
- The eight dissolutions: through meditation and visualization, simulate the eight dissolutions
• Nine-point contemplation/meditation on death:
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Death is certain
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Our life span is continuously decreasing
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Death will come whether we are prepared or not- how are we spending our time? Do you have a 401k or retirement savings? Death is more certain than spending your 401k/retirement savings....
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Time of death is uncertain, death can come at any moment
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Death has many causes, all life ends in death one way or another
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We are fragile and vulnerable beings, there isn't much separating us from death
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Your loved ones cannot keep you from death, you will need to let them go
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Money, possessions, friends, or relatives, cannot help, you will need to let them go
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Your own body cannot help you, you will need to let it go
At the onset of and during death
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Cultivate and focus on a peaceful mind
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Pacify negativity- avoid focusing on fear, attachments, negative emotions
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Cultivate altruistic intention - taking your attention away from yourself and worries of death, focus on helping others; the altruistic mind is supposedly the most beneficial state of mind one can generate at the time of death
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Accept death- let go, be peaceful, don’t fight it, accept it is your time
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Have confidence- have confidence that your practice has properly prepared you
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See death as an opportunity- it is a time to continue practicing, do not be swayed by emotions
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Let go of concerns and worries from your life that is over, including thoughts and attachments to family and friends; focus on, pray for, visualize what you have prepared for
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Contemplate your good deeds and virtuous actions
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Let go of any regrets
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Remain conscious, mindful, and attentive, maintain a peaceful and virtuous attitude and intention
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Emotions and visions may be fear inducing but observe them with detachment
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Meditate, pray, chant mantras as needed
The Essential Phowa Practice, Tibetan Book of Living and Dying (Sogyal Rinpoche)
"The most valuable and powerful of all practices I have found in caring for the dying, one which I have seen an astonishing number of people take to with enthusiasm, is a practice from the Tibetan tradition called phowa (pronounced “po-wa”), which means the transference of consciousness.
Phowa for dying people has been performed by friends, relatives, or masters, quite simply and naturally, all over the modern world–in Australia, America, and Europe. Thousands of people have been given the chance to die serenely because of its power. It gives me joy to make the heart of the phowa practice now available to anyone who wishes to use it.
I want to emphasize that this is a practice that anyone at all can do. It is simple, but it is also the most essential practice we can do to prepare for own death, and it is the main practice I teach my students for helping their dying friends and relatives, and their loved ones who have already died."
Practice One
First make sure you are comfortable and assume the meditative posture. If you are doing this practice as you are coming close to death, just sit as comfortably as you are able, or practice lying down. Then bring your mind home, release, and relax completely.
1. In the sky in front of you, invoke the embodiment of whatever truth you believe in, in the form of radiant light. Choose whichever divine being or saint you feel close to. If you are a Buddhist, invoke a buddha with whom you feel an intimate connection. If you are a practicing Christian, feel with all your heart the vivid, immediate presence of God, the Holy Spirit, Jesus, or the Virgin Mary. If you don’t feel linked with any particular spiritual figure, simply imagine a form of pure golden light in the sky before you. The important point is that you consider the being you are visualizing or whose presence you feel is the embodiment of the truth, wisdom, and compassion of all the buddhas, saints, masters, and enlightened beings. Don’t worry if you cannot visualize them very clearly, just fill your heart with their presence and trust that they are there.
2. Then focus your mind, heart, and soul on the presence you have invoked, and pray:
Through your blessing, grace, and guidance, through the power of the light that streams from you:
May all my negative karma, destructive emotions, obscurations, and blockages be purified and removed,
May I know myself forgiven for all the harm I may have thought and done,
May I accomplish this profound practice of phowa, and die a good and peaceful death,
And through the triumph of my death, may I be able to benefit all other beings, living or dead.
Modified:
May all negativity be purified and removed
May I know I am forgiven for all harm I may have done
May I, and all beings, abide in peace
3. Now imagine that the presence of light you have invoked is so moved by your sincere and heartfelt prayer that he or she responds with a loving smile and sends out love and compassion in a stream of rays of light from his or her heart. As these touch and penetrate you, they cleanse and purify all your negative karma, destructive emotions, and obscurations, which are the causes of suffering. You see and feel that you are totally immersed in light.
4. You are now completely purified and completely healed by the light streaming from the presence. Consider that your very body, itself created by karma, now dissolves completely into light.
5. The body of light you are now soars up into the sky and merges, inseparably, with the blissful presence of light.
6. Remain in that state of oneness with the presence for as long as possible.
Practice Two
1. To do this practice even more simply, begin as before by resting quietly, and then invoke the presence of the embodiments of truth.
2. Imagine your consciousness as a sphere of light at your heart, which flashes out from you like a shooting star, and flies into the heart of the presence in front of you.
3. It dissolves and merges with the presence.
Through this practice you are investing your mind in the wisdom mind of the Buddha or enlightened being, which is the same as surrendering your soul to the nature of God. Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche says this is like casting a pebble into a lake; think of it plummeting down into the water, deeper and deeper. Imagine that through the blessing your mind is transformed into the wisdom mind of this enlightened presence.
Practice Three
The most essential way to do the practice is this: Simply merge your mind with the wisdom mind of the pure presence.
Consider: “My mind and the mind of the Buddha are one.” (or the mind of God, the universe, Jesus, etc.)
Choose whichever of these versions of the phowa feels more comfortable or has most appeal for you at any particular moment. Sometimes the most powerful practices can be the most simple. But whichever you choose, remember that it is essential to take the time now to become familiar with this practice. How else will you have the confidence to do it for yourself or others at the moment of death? My master Jamyang Khyentse wrote, “If you meditate and practice in this manner always, at the moment of death it will come easier.”
